


the cotton candy is just sugar and air

by alotofphandoms



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Even falls so hard and so quickly, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mutual Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, i'll add more tags as i write more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-11-23 14:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11404746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alotofphandoms/pseuds/alotofphandoms
Summary: Stumbling out of his bedroom to see a fluffy haired, fully clothed, blonde boy sleeping on his couch was not how Even thought this morning would pan out. This has got to be Eskild’s fault, Even thought to himself. He huffed and stomped over to Eskild’s room, knocking on the door loudly. Eskild emerged, fully awake but looking at his roommate like he’s grown an extra limb.“What do you want?” Eskild questions. Even throws his arms up dramatically.“What do you think? Why is there a kid on our couch?” Even asks. Eskild rolls his eyes and steps out to join Even in the living room.“He’s seventeen, he’s not a kid.” Eskild reasoned, which was not the answer Even currently wanted.





	1. I'm Kind Of A Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, what? He’s living with us now?” Even asked.
> 
> “Yes, where else would he go?” Eskild said like it was obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, Isak is 17 and Even is 21. Things will be angsty and things will be good but I won't update daily like with my other fic :( Maybe just bookmark this and wait for it to be finished lol

Stumbling out of his bedroom to see a fluffy haired, fully clothed, blonde boy sleeping on his couch was not how Even thought this morning would pan out. He slowly approached the couch to get a closer look at the boy. He looked young, and even in his sleep had a deep crease between his eyebrows. He was gorgeous, Even could admit. _Okay, back to the real issue, Even._ This has got to be Eskild’s fault, Even thought to himself. He huffed and stomped over to Eskild’s room, knocking on the door loudly. Eskild emerged, fully awake but looking at his roommate like he’s grown an extra limb.

“What do you want?” Eskild questions. Even throws his arms up dramatically.

“What do you think? Why is there a kid on our couch?” Even asks. Eskild rolls his eyes and steps out to join Even in the living room.

“He’s seventeen, he’s not a kid.” Eskild reasoned, which was not the answer Even currently wanted. Even raised his eyebrows at his idiot of a roommate. Eskild, sighed and became a lot more serious which kind of shocked Even. “I found him last night, incredibly drunk at a gay bar. Some creepy dude was hitting on him and he was too out of it to defend himself so I saved him. Then he went to vomit and basically had a breakdown, saying he couldn’t go home and he didn’t know where to go. He spouted all this other shit and I just couldn’t leave him there.”

Even sighed, understanding why Eskild did this, but still. “Why couldn’t he just go home?” Eskild gave him another dramatic eye roll.

“His parents kicked him out of the house because he had brought his boyfriend over.” Eskild told him and Even sighed again.

“So, what? He’s living with us now?” Even asked.

“Yes, where else would he go?” Eskild said like it was obvious.

“Alright, I admire your compassion Eskild but, we don’t have an extra room.” Even told him, like it was so obvious. Eskild gave him a look and gestured to the door at the end of the hall.

“Yes, we do. Open your eyes, Even.”

“No, that’s my equipment room.” Even said, crossing his arms, channeling his most stubborn attitude.

“Oh come on Even, your filming shit can go in your bedroom.” Eskild said to him, throwing his arms up dramatically. Even shook his head.

“No, not unless I want to live in complete clutter and I do not.” Even retorts, his voice rising slightly.

“Then we'll clean out the basement! I’m not letting _that_ be the reason we have to put a kid on the streets!” Eskild argues back, his voice rising with Even’s. Even rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure he has friends or something that he can stay with.” Even says, even though he realizes that it’s a bit insensitive to say. Eskild glares at him harshly.

“He’s seventeen, all his friends live with their parents. I can’t believe you’re being such an asshole about this, he needs us.” Eskild tells Even, close to yelling.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole! I’m trying to tell you that we don’t have-“ Even stops when Eskild looks over to the couch and his face softens tremendously. Even looks over to where Eskild is looking to see the boy standing next to the couch. His lip quivered and his hair was a curly mess. He looked categorically adorable. Even’s anger flooded from his veins as the boy started to speak, uneasily.

“I can uh... I can try to find somewhere else. My… my boyfriend dumped me but I kind of know one of his friends who has an apartment. I don’t want to… intrude on you guys.” He stutters and Even couldn’t feel worse about the things he said that the boy probably heard. The boy finally looks up at them and quickly looks between Eskild and Even. Even feels his own heart stutter when the boy’s bright green eyes sweep over his body.

“No, Isak, we’re figuring it out. Okay? You aren’t a burden.” Eskild comforts, approaching the boy, no, Isak and hugging his side. Isak. Even let the name bounce around in his head. “Right, Even?” Eskild looks at him pointedly and Even exhales a breath he was holding.

“Right. I mean, yeah, I can just move my stuff from the spare room to... somewhere else. I’ll figure it out.” Even gives Isak a warm smile and Isak just looks worried and concerned. He leans into Eskild and looks up to Eskild.

“How am I going to get my stuff from my parents’ house?” Isak asks him and Eskild sighs.

“We’ll take care of that.” Eskild gestures to Even. “Oh, this is Even, by the way.” Even reaches his hand out to shake Isak’s.

Isak takes his hand and then looks over to Eskild, “Your boyfriend?” Even and Eskild laughs loudly. Eskild decides to answer for them.

“For one, I was at that gay bar for a reason, I am very alone, and two, Even has way too high of standards to want to date me.” Eskild tells Isak.

“Hey, no I don’t.” Even defends, “I’m not dating you because you’re all… weird and dramatic.” Even jokes and Eskild rolls his eyes. Even goes into the kitchen, assuming he needs to make breakfast now for three.

“Well, you’re missing out.” Eskild retorts and Even laughs loudly. He’s definitely trying to show off to Isak that he’s not an asshole and that really he’s funny and charming and just a little bit desperate. Isak and Eskild make their way into the kitchen and Isak just stands there for a moment.

“Oh, would you like some clothes Isak?” Eskild realizes and he disappears into his bedroom to pick something out for him. Even starts pulling different ingredients out to place on the counter before asking Isak what he wants to eat.

“No, it’s fine. You don’t have to make me food.” Isak says, hugging himself and as if Isak’s body was rebelling, his stomach growled.

“Well, I want to.” Even smiles. “What do you want? Pancakes?” He offers and Isak nods, looking down to the ground. At that moment, Eskild comes back with clothes for Isak. Isak looks at the sweatshirt that reads “Jaevla Homo” and chuckles. It’s the smallest of laughs and yet it has Even positively melting. Isak goes and changes in the bathroom and Eskild looks at Even.

“You like him” Eskild teases and Even is a bit taken back. How’d he figure that out so quickly?

“What do you mean?” Even questions, turning his back to him. Eskild scoffs.

“You’re doing the thing you used to do when Sonja was around in the beginning. You’re acting all charming and smooth when a second ago you were yelling about moving your film equipment. Then, you’re making breakfast for him. I mean, come on Even.” Eskild tells him, and Even has to admit, he really pays attention. Even turns around and lowers his voice substantially.

“Okay, sure I find him attractive but I don’t know anything about him.” Even reasons and Eskild just rubs his hands together.

“Oooh, what if this is the start of an epic love story and I’m the one who introduced you two!” Eskild squeals quietly and Even rolls his eyes fondly.

“Whatever, don’t you have class soon?” Even asks but Eskild just waves him off when Isak walks back in.

“So Isak, where do you go to school?” Eskild gestures for Isak to sit with him at the kitchen table and Even continues making breakfast, listening closely to their conversation.

“I go to Nissen, I’m a second year.” Isak tells him and Eskild gets up to make them tea.

“And your boyfriend?” Eskild asks, treading lightly. Even gives him a look.

“He… He’s in university. I met him last year when he was a third year.” Isak says, his voice becoming smaller and even softer.

“Why did he break up with you? If you don’t mind me asking, you seem like such a nice guy.” Eskild says to him, sitting down again. Even listens to the silence as he stirs the pancake batter.

“That’s an insanely long story…” Isak says and Even knows that Eskild gestures for him to tell it anyway. “Uh, well, my mom has multiple personality’s disorder,” Even’s heart starts beating out of his chest. His mom is mentally ill, like himself. “And so... I never really know what she’s going to be like when I see her. My dad left last year but, last night he was there for some reason, talking to my mom. I thought she seemed happy and quiet.” Isak’s voice lowered. “So I thought I’d tell them…” Even turns slightly to see Isak looking down at his hands and Eskild’s hand laying comfortably on the boys’ bicep. “And then as they were freaking out and she was screaming at me, Chris… My boy- my ex-boyfriend. He came to pick me up but since I wasn’t answering, he knocked on the door. He thought my parents were insane and he told me he didn’t want to see me again…” Isak trailed off, the apartment feeling especially silent.

“I don’t mean to be insensitive but Chris sounds like a dick.” Eskild says and somehow he makes it seem comforting because Isak lets out a small chuckle.

“He is. I... Now I can see how horrible he was to me but, I just wanted the attention I guess. I’m over him though.” Isak tells him and Even breathes in harshly, deciding that he could be good enough for Isak. Except for the mental illness part… _but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,_ Even thinks to himself.

“That’s good. Not that he’s a dick to you but that you realized it, that you realize you can do better.” Eskild gets up again to pour the tea into mugs for the three of them, Even accepting it with a quiet thank you.

“Well, I’m kind of a dick too, so…” Isak says suddenly and both of the roommates turn to look at him.

“I think you should let us be the judge of that.” Even tells him and Isak looks him in the eye for longer this time and it feels like minutes have gone by before Isak answers.

“Okay.”

~~~

 

It’s been a week of living with Isak and he hasn’t changed since that first moments. Even has noticed that Isak will have moments where he seems like he’s coming out of his shell but then he’ll go right back to this shy, sullen little boy. Even craves his laugh and those little smiles Isak will let happen sometimes.

The three of them let the weekend pass without touching the extra room and once the week started they were too busy so Eskild let Isak sleep in his bed for the week. Although Even would have been perfectly fine with this arrangement, Eskild’s whining had gone through the roof.

“Even, you have to move your stuff out of the spare room, we have to get Isak’s stuff from his parents’ house.” Eskild yelled at him after Even came home from class. It was Friday afternoon and Eskild was beyond annoyed with him for putting off clearing out the room all week.

“Where am I supposed to put the equipment, Eskild?” Even yelled back. It was like something out of a sitcom where Even and Eskild were the wacky, fighting parents and Isak was the grumpy teenager who was sat on the couch playing video games during it all.

“We have a basement!” Eskild reminds him.

“It’s too cold down there, it could damage most of the stuff.” Even reasons, crossing his arms defiantly.

“You can put your crane, your tripods and your dolly down there.” Eskild tells him, pointing a finger at him. “And you say I don’t listen to you ramble about your shit, those things are the biggest things in the room, just put them down there.” Eskild places his hands on his hips, glaring at Even.

“Alright!” Even groans loudly, making Isak look up at him. “I’ll find space for the stuff. But you’re paying for some shelves or something!” Even tells Eskild while huffing and rolling his eyes.

“I don’t have that much stuff, you can always leave some of it in the room.” Isak says, pausing his game but Eskild cuts in before Even can agree.

“No no no, baby gay, that stuff will just crowd your space and the room is already not big enough.” Eskild says, sitting next to him on the couch. Even sighs and goes to the back room to start his work.

Around three hours later, Even is done. His own room looks like a complete mess of junk but at least Isak has his room and Eskild isn’t whining anymore. Even huffs, placing his favorite camera bag carefully on his desk and going back to start vacuuming the room. He walks down the hall to see Isak pulling back the bright yellow curtains to look out the window. Even stops in the doorway and watches him for just a moment. Okay, maybe a few moments.

“So… Isak.” Isak jumps and turns to look at him, questioningly. “When should we go over to get your stuff?” Isak breathes in deeply.

“I’m not sure… I guess when my mom would be home. I should go with you, though.” Isak says, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Are you sure?” He asks him, cautiously. Isak nods.

“My mom might not recognize who I am just by hearing my name, sometimes she has to see me to realize… who I am.” Isak says slowly like he doesn’t want to admit it and Even couldn’t imagine the pain he’s been through. Even approaches him carefully.

“I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with all that by yourself.” He tells Isak, his voice soft and quiet but not quite a whisper. Isak shakes his head.

“It’s not a big deal.” He keeps his eyes fixed on something on the ground and Even wishes he would look up so he could see those bright green eyes up close to see if they were even brighter up close. Even wants to say so many things like how strong Isak probably is for carrying this weight on his shoulder and how brave it was for him to come out to his parents but he has a feeling it would just freak out the boy to just dump all those thoughts on him. Also considering the fact that Even is basically a stranger to this boy would also add in the creep factor. A stranger that is also four years older than him… Yeah, it’d be a bit creepy to tell Isak that this early on in their roommate relationship.

“We’ll go pick everything up tomorrow, is that okay?” Even asks and Isak looks up at him for a brief moment before averting his eyes to look at the wall beside them. For that short moment though, Even’s heart stopped. Those green eyes were even more hypnotizing than he originally thought.

“Yeah, my mom should be home. I can try calling her tonight to tell her that we’re coming but I’m sure she won’t remember anyway.” Isak says, fidgeting more. Even nods and backs away towards the vacuum. Isak gets the hint and quickly exits the room. Even was so in awe of this small but powerful boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the first chapter! I hope you liked :)
> 
> More on the way! I'll probably write faster if I see people actually wanting to read more but I don't know I have other fics to focus on *shrug*


	2. I Might Actually Listen To You For Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What’d you do?” He asks, accusatory.
> 
> “Um, excuse me? I didn’t do anything!” Even huffs. “Why do you always think I’ve done something?”
> 
> “Because he’s still uneasy around you… He’s perfectly comfortable with me.” Eskild points out and Even can see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this chapter :) once i finish my other fic Golden Boy, i'm going to be updating this fic much more often and the chapters will get longer, i promise

The next day, Isak told them the way to his parents’ house. They took Even’s car to go pack everything up and Isak was shaking like a leaf. As they got out, Eskild made it his duty to keep Isak calm. Even kind of wished he would have jumped on that but Eskild was much closer to Isak for some reason. Isak knocked on the door a few times before a small blonde women opened the door. She brightened up when she saw Isak.

“Isak, you’re home from school early.” She said, pulling him into a one sided hug. Even’s heart hurts at the statement. His mom is really out of it if she thinks he’s just been at school this past week. Isak gives her a tight smile.

“I actually moved out, Mamma. I’m here to pick up my things.” Isak says and it sounds too harsh. Even knows Isak can tell that it came out colder than he meant it to sound. “I’m sorry…” Even’s heart did the aching thing again. This boy had nothing to apologize for and still he will try his best to make his mother feel like nothing’s wrong.

“Why are you leaving?” His mother pleaded and Isak gestured for the boys to go inside.

“My room’s at the end of the hall, on the right.” He tells them and they hear him talk to her under his breath. Eskild and Even start unfolding boxes and just shoving everything that looks important into a box, starting with all his clothing. Even can hear sobbing coming from the living room and hushed whispered as Isak tries to calm his mother down.

“That poor boy, he’s so young.” Eskild mumbles, sounding so concerned for the boy as he looks at the posters of half-naked women on Isak’s wall.

“His poor mother…” Even adds. They continued to shove odds and ends into boxes and hauling them out into Even’s truck. They walked past Isak and his mother and Even felt like crying, seeing this small boy holding his even smaller, unstable mother.

“Eskild, shouldn’t we encourage him to stay with his mother?” Even asks, doubting that Isak leaving his sick mother is a good idea.

“He’s not a kid. I mean, he’s a baby but he’s obviously not okay in this environment and he needs to be able to live his life. He needs a safe place to live and we have an extra room.” Eskild tells him, a heavy tone of finality in his voice. There was no way of arguing with him. Even sighed and nodded as they finished packing up the truck.

A while later, Isak walked out of the house and closed the door behind him. He climbed into the backseat of Even’s truck without looking back. Eskild and Even shared a look before they joined him inside and they all headed back to their apartment.

~~~

After everything this kid has been through, it only took him a week before he was completely settled into the third room. Even had to clean out their basement to make space for all his equipment but it all seemed worth it when he heard Isak humming in the shower that morning. He was still jumpy and fidgety, but he also seemed comfortable enough to walk into the kitchen after having just woken up, still in boxers and a tee shirt.

“Hey sleepy head, do you need a ride to school?” Eskild asked him, making Isak stop rubbing at his eyes to look up at him. Even watched as Isak ran a hand through his fluffy bed head, sighing.

“I can take the tram.” Isak says, but he smiles a small grateful smile at him.

“Do you want food?” Even offers, gesturing to the eggs he was still stirring around. Isak looked over at him in surprise.

“No, I’ve actually got to get ready.” Isak looks at the time and quickly retreats back into his room. Eskild sighs.

“What’d you do?” He asks, accusatory.

“Um, excuse me? I didn’t do anything!” Even huffs. “Why do you always think I’ve done something?”

“Because he’s still uneasy around you… He’s perfectly comfortable with me.” Eskild points out and Even can see that. He’s seen how Isak tenses when he walks into the room or how he stumbles over his words when Even joins into their conversations.

“I don’t know, maybe he’s just not used to me yet.” Even reasons, “He’ll like me eventually.” He says and it kind of feels like he’s reassuring himself, not Eskild.

“He’s such a cute kid.”

“I thought he wasn’t a kid.” Even teases. Eskild scoffs.

“You know what I mean. He’s just so innocent but he’s been through so much, it’s crazy.” Eskild says, “I really like him, don’t scare him away.” Even huffs, rolling his eyes.

“Eskild, I’m not going to do anything.” He says and just when Eskild is about to speak, Isak is walking into the kitchen, fully dressed with his backpack and everything.

“Can I… Can I have an apple or something?” He asks, timidly. Even smiles at him.

“Of course, there’s a bag on my shelf in the fridge.” Even tells him, gesturing for him to help himself. Isak nods slightly and grabs the apple. Quickly, he says thank you and then he’s rushing out the door, on his way to class.

“He’s so cute, ugh. I wanna punch his stupid boyfriend in the face.” Eskild groans.

“It’s his ex-boyfriend.” Even corrects him, still working on his plan to get Isak with him which is proving to be a lot more difficult when it seems like Isak is literally scared of him.

“I don’t know, they’ve been texting a lot.” Eskild says, with a look of disapproval on his face. Even places the pan of eggs between them and hands Eskild a fork.

“Why? Isn’t he a dick?” He asks.

“I think so but Isak says he’s been apologizing. I don’t know, it seems like it’s just a lot of drama.” Eskild shrugs.

“Well, Isak better not get back together with him. He seems awful.” Even grumbles.

“First off, we know nothing about their relationship, and second, you’re only being bitter because you’re in love with Isak.” Eskild points his fork at him and Even just raises his eyebrows.

“I’m not in love with anyone, Eskild.” Even corrects him, but then he continues with a smirk, “But he will fall in love with me, if all goes to plan.”

“Don’t corrupt my new child, Even.” Eskild exclaimed. “He’s too good for this world.” Even laughs and just shakes his head. He takes a moment before going serious.

“Eskild… Do you think he’d like me though?” He asks, hesitantly, insinuating a much deeper conversation that he can't handle at eight o'clock. Eskild puts a forkful of eggs in his mouth as he thinks.

“I think everyone has the potential to fall in love with you Even, but you should let him get over Chris first. You should be careful with him, he’s fragile, even though he’s been through hell. Let him come to you.” Eskild says and it actually feels like good advice. Even smiles at his roommate.

“You know what Eskild, I might actually listen to you for once.” Even teases and Eskild just hits him across the head. Friendship is a beautiful thing.


	3. I’m Definitely Not A Baby Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’ll watch it at some point. You’ll love it, and if you don’t Leonardo DiCaprio is pretty nice to stare at.” Isak giggles at that and shrugs.
> 
> “Can’t argue with that.”
> 
> “No, you cannot.” Even smirks, nodding.
> 
> “So… are you gay too? When I asked Eskild he just kind of raised his eyebrows at me and then showed me his Grinder account.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I messed up on the first chapter, I wrote that Isak is sixteen but he's seventeen, he's in his second year and this is supposed be set at the same time as season 3.
> 
> also, this chapter picks up on the same day as the last chapter, just so you know.
> 
> and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while :( but I've been working on a really long, really interesting Childhood AU fic soooo

Isak got home from school that day in a terrible mood. Even watched, in shock, as Isak slammed the front door closed and stomped past him into his bedroom, slamming that door too. Even was the only one home that day as he didn’t have any Friday classes so Eskild wasn’t there to stick his nose into Isak’s business to find out what was wrong. Even glanced at his phone to see it was only 13:28 which had to mean Isak was skipping class.

“Isak?” Even knocked on his door, carefully. He heard shuffling and… sniffling?... coming from the other side of the door before a voice came through.

“What?” Isak said, sounding like he was trying hard not to sound like he was crying. “I’m sorry for slamming the door…” He sounded so small, Even’s heart clenched.

“It’s okay, but shouldn’t you still be at school?” He spoke cautiously, not wanting to upset him any further.

“I felt sick.” Isak said, but even through the door Even knew he was lying. He sighed, knowing what he would want in this situation.

“Well, uh. You don’t have to talk to me but my friend gave me some weed and I’m actually not supposed to smoke it but it’s better for me if I do it with someone else.” Even suggests and instead of silence, he’s met with more shuffling and then the door is swinging open.

“Okay.” Isak agreed, looking up at Even with wide teary eyes. He smiles down at him and leads him into his room. They sat on his windowsill, pushing the windows open as far as they’ll go.

After a few drags back and forth, Isak speaks up.

“Again, I’m sorry I slammed the door.” He apologizes, eyes avoiding Even’s.

“It’s alright.” Even chuckles. “Not a big deal but why did you?” He asks, cautiously.

“It’s just…” Isak sighs like he isn’t going to continue but he does anyway. “Chris came up to me during lunch, in front of everyone, and tried to apologize… and then, of course, he still managed to turn it around on me.” Even hums, biting his lip.

“That’s not right.” He tells him and Isak nods, taking another long drag. “Why’d he try and turn it around on you?”

“Because he’s an asshole, and that’s what he does… and because I wouldn’t accept his dumb apology.” Isak huffs, rolling his eyes and Even can’t help but think the gesture is kind of adorable. Everything about him is so nice to look at.

“Why won’t you accept it?” Even asks and he knows he taking advantage of Isak’s loose tongue but he knew Isak needed someone to talk to.

“He called my mamma crazy,” Isak mumbles, taking another drag and blowing out the smoke slowly. “And she’s not crazy. She’s sick and I don’t care if he was scared of them yelling at me because _he_ yells at me all the time... He doesn’t understand how bad he is for me.”

“It’s really good that you know that.” Even says and Isak hums.

“It took me a whole year to realize it.” He rolls his eyes again. “My friends finally talked some sense into me and I’ve been trying to break up with him for a month now but… yeah.” Isak shrugged.

“So you guys are broken up for good? Because if you need help, me and Eskild will teach him a lesson for you.” Even winked and Isak laughed beautifully. It was a full body laugh that Even wasn’t expecting.

“You realize you can’t wink right?” Isak giggles and Even gives him a confused smile.

“What? Yeah, I can. Watch.” Even winks again and it causes Isak to laugh some more and Even doesn’t even care if he’s laughing because Even looks like an idiot because at least he’s laughing. He’s so beautiful when he’s laughing.

“So do you make… movies and stuff?” Isak asks after he’s stopped laughing.

“Yeah, with a few of my friends. We all used to mess around and make videos on YouTube but then we started taking it more seriously. Wrote some scenes and now we all study film.” Even tells him and he nods.

“That’s way cooler than what I want to do at uni.” Isak says, with a chuckle.

“What do you want to do?” Even asks. Isak shrugs.

“Science and shit.” He says. “I wanna go to med school and be a doctor.” Even lets out an incredulous laugh.

“What the fuck? That’s like the coolest thing ever. You’re good at science?” He watches as a blush spreads across Isak’s face.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s like the only thing I’m good at.” Isak tells him and Even knocks his knee against his.

“I’m sure that’s not true but, that’s all super cool. You’d be saving people.”

“Movies can save people too.” Isak shrugs and Even can’t help but give him the brightest smile he can offer.

“Why are you so fucking smart? I was a little shit at your age. All I could do was... like recite every line of Romeo and Juliet perfectly.” Even teases and Isak just rolls his eyes.

“You barely even know me.”

“I know enough, smarty pants.”

“Whatever, pretentious snob.” Even lets out a loud scoff.

“What? How do you know I’m pretentious?”

“You just said you know all the lines to some Romeo and Juliet movie. Shakespeare is pretty pretentious.” Isak points out and Even just shakes his head fondly.

“Have you seen it?”

“Huh?”

“Have you seen Romeo and Juliet? The Baz Luhrmann one.” Even asks, tone hopeful but Isak just raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t?”

“Nah, I mean…” Isak mumbles, squirming in his seat and Even lets out a chuckle. 

“We’ll watch it at some point. You’ll love it, and if you don’t Leonardo DiCaprio is pretty nice to stare at.” Isak giggles at that and shrugs.

“Can’t argue with that.”

“No, you cannot.” Even smirks, nodding.

“So… are you gay too? When I asked Eskild he just kind of raised his eyebrows at me and then showed me his Grinder account.” Even laughs.

“ _Eskild_.” He says fondly, shaking his head. “Nah, I’m not gay. I’m pansexual.” Isak nods, quirking an eyebrow.

“What’s… sorry, what’s that?” He asks, sheepishly.

“No, it’s okay, people have to ask all the time. It’s when gender doesn’t really matter when you like someone, it’s just the person that matters.” Even tells him and Isak nods.

“That’s cool.” He nods. Even smiles at him. Once Isak finished up the joint they went into the kitchen to make food. Isak started picking at Eskild’s baguette so Even decided to make cheese toasties. They talked about such stupid shit, like music and Even teased him for not knowing who Nas was. Isak teased him about not knowing what DNA stood for and everything felt so comfortable. They ate the cheese toasties and to be honest, Even kind of went overboard with all the spices so they kind of tasted like shit but Isak still ate it. He made such cute faces when he was disgusted. Well, he always made cute faces. Right as Isak was about to start rapping for him, Eskild snuck into the kitchen with a devious little smirk on his face.

Right as Isak was about to start rapping for him, Eskild snuck into the kitchen with a devious little smirk on his face.

“Hi, my babies.” He cooed, raising his eyebrows at Even. “You’ve finally spoken to each other?”

“Yeah, he bribed me with weed.” Isak teased but Eskild gasped.

“Even! That’s not good for you.” He hit Even’s arm. “And you shouldn’t be giving weed to a seventeen year old.” Isak scoffs.

“I’m not a child, Eskild.” He rolls his eyes and Eskild lets out a dramatic cry, throwing his arms around Isak’s shoulders.

“Yes, you are. You’re my baby gay.” Eskild kisses his cheek and Even laughs as Isak makes a face.

“I’m definitely not a _baby_ gay.” Isak scoffs and Even raises his eyebrows at him, a little suggestively and Isak just smirked at him. Eskild squeezed him tighter until Isak was groaning, “Piss off, Eskild.” Even decides he likes relaxed, high Isak but he wants to figure out this relationship with Chris, if he should even call it that. He hopes he doesn’t have to call it that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll upload a more interesting chapter next time! I just wanted a little bit of them getting to know each other and I'm sorry this was short ahh
> 
> I hope you liked it though and I'll try to write faster :D
> 
> thanks so much for reading!


	4. I Was Having A Conversation With Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did Eskild tell you to be nice to me?” He asks after a moment and Even just has to laugh.
> 
> “No, I’m just a nice guy. I mean, I guess I was a dick the first time we met but that’s because it was early.” Even shrugged. Isak squinted at him until he was fidgeting with his fingers and looking down at his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a much longer chapter! i know last chapter was kind of shit so i hope you guys like this one and i'm really trying to write faster. 
> 
> thanks so much for reading :D xoxo

When Even got back to the apartment it was almost 20. So at this late, he did not expect to see Isak sitting outside their door, backpack in his lap and fumbling with his phone.

“Hello?” Even greeted, making Isak jump and smile sheepishly.

“I uh… I forgot my key and Eskild works till 21.” Isak explained, standing up slowly. Even huffs out a laugh as he just stares at him.

“You could’ve called me…” Even says and he watches as Isak bites his lip.

“I don’t have your number.” Isak tells him and Even makes a face.

“Oh, sorry. How long have you been waiting here?” Even asks, moving to unlock the door and let them both in.

“Since 16. I was about to just head over to my friend Jonas’ house but uh, I didn’t know when you’d be home…” He sighs and Even huffs out another laugh.

“Sorry man.”

“You should be sorry, I have tons of homework.” Isak groans. Even laughs at him.

“I’m sure you’ll still be a genius.” Even teases. He watches as Isak sits down at the kitchen table and pulls out his work. “You wanna smoke before you start?”

“No, then it’ll never get done.” He sighs.

“Jeez, you’re so responsible.” He teases but Isak just rolls his eyes at him. Even smiles and goes about making himself dinner. Half an hour later Isak still hasn’t moved so Even sets a bowl of pasta in front of him on top of his worksheets and sits across from him with his own bowl.

“What-What is this?” Isak questions, gesturing to the food dumbly and Even laughs at him.

“It’s your dinner.” Even says and then a bit more serious, “Wait are you like allergic or something?”

“No but… Eskild told me that you guys don’t usually share food so I’ll have to find some money to buy my own food.” This time Even rolled his eyes.

“So what, you were just going to starve until then?” Even asks, digging into his pasta. “Eat it, Isak, you need food if you’re going to be a doctor one day.” He tried to wink again which successfully got a smile out of the younger boy.

“Whatever.” Isak grumbles, picking up the fork and taking a bite. “Thank you, Even.”

Even smiles at him genuinely and they eat in silence. The silence is weirdly comfortable as Even watches Isak eat whilst still reading through his textbook. Even takes in every little thing about him, from the way he sniffles occasionally to the way his eyebrows crinkle every so often. Even can’t help but notice how adorable it is when he starts mouthing along with what he’s reading.

When he finishes his food, Even stands and takes both their bowls to the sink to start washing up. Isak looked up at him for a moment, with a confused glare.

“Did Eskild tell you to be nice to me?” He asks after a moment and Even just has to laugh.

“No, I’m just a nice guy. I mean, I guess I was a dick the first time we met but that’s because it was early.” Even shrugged. Isak squinted at him until he was fidgeting with his fingers and looking down at his lap.

“…I’m sorry about me just… barging in. I know you must hate having to deal with living with some sad, grumpy kid.” Isak said and it made Even cringe. He set down the soapy bowl in his hands and turned to look at Isak fully.

“You know, I was a sad grumpy kid once too and well, I’m still that kid.” He sighs. “Isak, you aren’t a burden. It sucks that you had to live in such a toxic environment but having you here makes me… happy.” He chuckles softly. “That makes me sound weird but really, I’m happy you’re here because me and Eskild can look out for you know… Not that you really need it, you’re not really a kid but you know what I mean. You’re safe here and that’s what’s important.”

Isak was staring at him and Even shifts his weight slightly, suddenly nervous that he went too far. But then Isak was speaking and his voice was just so soft. “Thank you. For everything, really.”

“It’s no problem.” Even smiles and Isak returns it. “Hey, you still don’t have my phone number.”

They finally exchanged numbers and Even left him alone to continue studying.

~~~

That night his body wakes him up at half past two and his mouth feels like cotton. When he ventures out into the kitchen for the first time since dinner time, he was not expecting to see the light on. Slowly, he turned the corner to see Isak, changed into more comfortable clothing, but nonetheless, still sitting at the kitchen table. He watched for a second, in utter confusion. Because wasn’t it almost three in the fucking morning? Didn’t this boy sleep? Even could only watch as the both turned over his worksheet and continued scribbling answers.

“Isak?” The younger boy jumped at least a foot into the air, wide eyes finding Even at the other end of the kitchen.

“Oh hi. Did I wake you?” Isak asks, nervously.

“What… Why the fuck are you awake?” Even asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Isak slumps slightly.

“I can’t sleep anyway so… might as well get ahead in my school work.” He shrugged and Even scoffed.

“Who _are_ you?” Even huffed, fondly with a slight smile. He went to the sink to fill a cup with water before turning to him. “I really think you should at least lie down. Try and sleep because you still have school tomorrow.” Isak takes a deep breath, avoiding Even’s gaze.

“It won’t really help. I know it.” He sighs and Even copies him. He tries to come up with any solution.

“I can make you tea. It’s this tea that…” Even sets down his water and goes to the cupboard to find it. “…it always helps when I can’t sleep. I swear.”

“Alright… I can try it.” Isak mumbles and Even takes it as a win. He begins to make the tea as Isak goes back to studying. As he waits for the tea to cool down slightly, he goes and closes Isak’s textbook.

“Do me a favor and give yourself a break.” He murmurs and Isak just watches the movement absently.

“I was busy.”

“You need sleep, Isak.” Even tells him, a little more firm than before. He pours their tea and hands Isak a mug. He watches as he reveals in the warmth and wraps both hands around the mug. They sip at their tea in silence and mutually agree to both go get some sleep. Isak stops in his doorway though.

“Thank you, Even. Really… I don’t know what I’d do without you and Eskild.” He tells him, making Even’s heart melt. He nods at him and they disappear into their own rooms.

For the remaining hours of the night, Even dreams. He dreams of bright emerald eyes and long soft limbs. His subconscious imagines how it would feel to run his fingers through soft blonde curls. He dreams of a boy’s sarcastic tone and crooked smile. He dreams of a categorically adorable boy who’s destined to fall in love with him. He’s sure of it.

~~~

In between classes the next day he gets a message from Isak.

 ** _Isak:_** _Do you think it’s okay if Chris comes over later? We need to talk and I kind of want to do it where there’s other people around and not in his empty apartment._

Even can’t tell him no. But he wants to so badly. He doesn’t even want to see them together and after what Isak told him while they were high, he’s not sure if we wants Isak to see him. Even’s not like his dad though so he can’t really tell Isak any of that.

**_til Isak:_ ** _Yeah that’s chill but what if he tries something?_

**_Isak:_ ** _He won’t do real damage with other people in the apartment._

**_til Isak:_ ** _Okay_

That’s all he can think to say because it’s an incredibly scary thought that Chris has actually done _real damage_. He shoves his phone into his sweatshirt before he can think about it more and goes to meet his friends for coffee.

Mikael and Elias are already there waiting for him with his coffee order. Mikael waves him over a little embarrassing for being in a busy coffee shop but Even still cracks a smile.

“What’s up, bro?” Elias slaps their hands together as Even sits at the third chair they pulled up for him.

“I’m good. It’s been weird though, Eskild picked up a stray about a week or two ago.” Even laughs as their eyebrows hit their hairlines.

“What? Do you – do you like, have a cat now?” Mikael chuckles. Even shrugs.

“No, a high schooler.” The boys look even more confused. “He got kicked out of his house and Eskild found him in some gay bar so he lives with us now.”

“Bro, that’s crazy.” Mikael huffs like just hearing the story was stressful.

“Yeah, he’s been through shit.” Even hums.

“Is he good now?” Elias questions. Even shrugs.

“I think so. He’s still figuring stuff out with his shitty boyfriend.”

“Hmm, I sense a touch of jealousy…” Mikael smirks and Elias laughs at him.

“Dude, no really, his boyfriend is shit.” Even tries to sound serious but Mikael is wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“How cute is he?” He asks and Even huffs.

“It’s not like that, guys.” He defends but now Elias has joined in wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Even sighs, throwing his head back, “I didn’t come here to talk about Isak.”

“Ooooh, Isak, huh?” Mikael teases. Even tries to bite back a smile but it doesn’t work perfectly.

“Okay, fine, he’s very cute and I may be a little infatuated with him but seriously, I mean, he’s got a boyfriend.” Even tells them and their smirks get wider to his dismay.

“A shit boyfriend.” Mikael points and honestly, Even wants to slap him. Instead, he glares, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.

“A boyfriend, nonetheless. Besides, I’m his roommate. He doesn’t see me as anyone he could like… date or something.” Even shrugs and the boys shrug, exchanging glances.

“You never know.” Elias shrugs. “Hey, you guys wanna head back to mine? I need help editing that scene we shot yesterday.” Mikael and Even agree so once they’ve finished their coffees they head over to the Bakkoush residence.

For an hour they argue over what filter to put over the footage until Mikael was yelling at him to make snacks. Even huffs and leaves to get something from the kitchen. Of course once he does enter the kitchen, he practically forgets all of his reasons for being in here because... Isak is standing there. He’s laughing with Elias’ sister, Sana, as she pours tea into two cups.

“It’s not my fault I don’t know how to make it.” Isak laughs, and it’s so different from the way he is around Eskild and him that it’s a little jarring. Sana giggles with him but still manages to scoff.

“Yes it is, you idiot.” She quips and Isak giggles again, taking the cup from her.

“I don’t even fucking like tea.” He grumbles, making Sana huff. Finally, Even has to speak up.

“Isak?” He watches Isak jump, some of his tea spilling onto the counter as he looks up at Even with wide eyes.

“Oh hi Even.” Sana greets and Isak gapes.

“What? Why – what are you doing here?” Isak stutters.

“He’s constantly over here.” Sana rolls her eyes and Even smiles at her. “Wait, you know Even?” She turns back to Isak.

“He’s my roommate.” Isak deadpans, making Sana raise her eyebrows.

“Yeah, so you’re friends with Sana?” Even asks, slowly, still surprised to see Isak here looking so beyond comfortable. Isak throws a smirk at Sana.

“Best buds, right?” Sana rolls her eyes.

“We are not.” She tells him and he sighs, dramatically and Even thinks his heart just grew to make more room for this boy. They continue to banter like before and Even quietly goes to pluck a bag of chips from the cabinet.

“Did you really finish that chemistry assignment?” Sana questions and Even hears Isak scoff.

“You know other people are allowed to be just as smart as you? You don’t have to feel threatened.” Isak teases and it’s hard not to laugh when Sana scoffs.

“You’re not as smart as me.”

“Huh? Excuse me? I’ve had a six all year.”

“It’s only November.”

“Whatever, I’ll still be helping you out all year.” Even smiles privately before leaving once he’s got everything he came here for.

“What took you so long?” Mikael groans like he’s absolutely starving.

“Isak is here?” Even whispers, incredulously. Elias’ eyebrows shoot up.

“Huh?”

“Sana’s friend, that’s Isak, the guy I was talking about earlier.” Mikael laughs loudly as Elias smirks at him with his mouth agape.

“Holy – dude, it’s destiny.” Mikael tells him dramatically. “It’s like one of your dumb Baz Luhrmann meet-cute scenes.” Even rolls his eyes, throwing a pillow at him.

“Shut up. I hate you guys.”

“Do you think he’s hot? Cause that’s kind of creepy, Even, he’s a child.”

“Holy fuck, I want to leave. I hate you.” Even throws another pillow at him, effectively messing his hair up. Elias breaks up their pillow fight as it escalades and forces them to focus on the scene in front of them.

~~~

Isak went home before Even did, so when he got back he wasn’t caught off-guard when he entered the apartment to see Isak on the couch with a boy he’d never seen before. They were turned to each other, much to close to just be friends so Even assumed that this was the shitty boyfriend. _Chris_.

Isak looked up once Even’s presence was known and nodded at him, Even returning the greeting. Chris however, turned and raised his eyebrows.

“Who are you?” He asked, and Even found his voice grating.

“Even. I’m Isak’s roommate.” Even says, outstretching one of his arms to shake Chris’ but Chris slaps it instead, in some sort of bro-shake. Even resists the urge to roll his eyes at him. “I’ll be in my room.” Even points to the door across from the couch and disappears inside. Immediately, he places his bag down and presses his ear against the door to hear their voices perfectly. Yes – this is nosey, but Even didn’t care. He needed to make sure Chris wasn’t going to be saying manipulative bullshit that Isak would fall for. 

“I thought you only had one roommate.” Chris asked Isak, sound accusatory. This time Even let himself roll his eyes.

“No, I told you there’s two.”

“Obviously you didn’t because I didn’t know.”

“Maybe you just weren’t listening.”

“Bullshit, you were just lying to me again. Just like how you lied about your family-“

“Chris, you know it’s more likely that you just weren’t listening to me.” Isak huffs, but Even can tell he’s holding back from sounding completely annoyed. “Just like how you’re not listening to me right now.”

“Isak, you’re saying a ton of shit, I can’t listen to you when you’re just making shit up.” Chris sighs and Even kind of wants to punch his perfect face in.

“Can you _please_ just…” Isak pauses, taking a breath. “I really don’t think we’re good together anymore. I don’t really think we were ever good together…”

“Isak, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chris says and Isak huffs again, sounding slightly more annoyed.

“Yes I do. Can’t you just respect that I don’t want to be with you anymore?” Isak’s voice raises just slightly and Even freezes.

“What? Have you found someone to _fuck_ you better?” Even actually flinches, his face twisting into a disgusted glare just at his words. “Cause I fucking doubt it. What, are you fucking one of these guys?” Chris bites back and Isak is quick to sigh heavily.

“Chris… I’m not… No, I just don’t want to be with you anymore. Especially when you talk to me like that.” Isak says, voice still holding back the malice it should have. Chris scoffs and Even can tell he’s standing up from the couch. Even’s already making a move to open the door and physically throw him out when –

“Whatever, I guess crazy runs in your fucking family.”

And that’s it. Even throws his door open and marches right up into Chris’ space, watching as his face sneers at him. He clenches his jaw and points to the door.

“Get out.” He growls and Chris just scoffs.

“What the fuck – “

“Get the fuck out of our fucking apartment.” He says, voice just slightly raised. Chris’ eyes flash with a look of fear and Even reveals in. Quickly, Chris stumbles towards the door but before he can close it. “And leave Isak alone, you can’t control him anymore.” Chris makes an indignant noise and slams the door behind him.

Even turns back to look at Isak where he’s sitting there, frozen, with fear in his eyes. When he looks to Even, fear turns to anger as he gets up to stand in front of Even.

“What the fuck, Even?” Isak shouts and yeah – Even was not excepting that. He raises his eyebrows in shock.

“I… Wha – I thought… Did you hear what he said? He can’t say shit like that!” Even says back, almost shouting but trying to keep his cool. Isak gestures wildly.

“What, so you thought you were allowed to listen in to our whole conversation? What the _fuck_?”

“I was just… I thought you needed help, getting him to listen.” Even tried but Isak just seemed to look more angry.

“You’re not my fucking savior, Even! And – and you can’t just throw people out like that! I was having a conversation with him. We were trying to sort things out. You’ve just made things worse!” Isak yells and Even is at a loss for words.

“I… I’m sorry.” Even apologizes, but he doesn’t mean it. Chris deserved to be thrown out, why wasn’t Isak getting that?

“Just stop trying to… to help me all the damn time! This isn’t like one of your fucking movies where the hero is the guy who throws out the _villain_. Life isn’t a _fucking_ movie!” Isak’s face is completely red as he huffs and stomps off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Even stood there, staring at his door until the front door was being opened.

“Even? Are you okay?” Eskild asked and Even barely turned around to look at him.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled, before turning into his own room and shutting the door a little more forcefully than needed.

For about the millionth time in his life, Even has to face the facts. _Life isn’t a fucking movie._


	5. I Hafta Apolologizeee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe I should just stop trying, he thinks because, at this point, he could apologize to Isak and maybe even be friends with him. They could go from taking turns at the sink to brushing their teeth side by side. They could memorize how the other takes their coffee or tea and it wouldn’t be a romantic thing. They could be friends. But he’s gorgeous."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, at first I was going to abandon this but I recently got some comments where people really wanted me to continue this so I wrote another chapter (and planned out more) and I'm going to try to work on this at the same time as I May Be Younger and hopefully I'll finish it lol. I hope you like this addition, if you want me to keep writing it, please lease a comment. Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> (also in case you're confused, the titles are things that Isak says even though the story is Even POV)

For the rest of the night, he stayed in his room. He didn’t want to face the world again, let alone Isak. Instead, he slept until the next morning, and maybe he left for class a couple hours before he actually needed too but no one needed to know that. Afterward, he went right back to his apartment instead of Elias’ (afraid that Isak would be there) and locked himself in his room. It was Friday, so of course he was being bombarded with text messages about parties he should come too and he ignored every last one of them.

The one time he snuck out of his room to fill two glasses of water and snag some snacks, he bumped into Eskild. Eskild eyed his armful of food and the waters.

“Do you have company?” Eskild wiggled his eyebrows but it wasn’t as teasing as usual. It was a bit wary. Even rolled his eyes anyway.

“No.” He snipped, pushing past and rushing to his room. Once he had set everything down, there was a knock at his door and he couldn’t help sighing dramatically. “What do you want?” He asked, swinging the door open.

“Even, what happened yesterday? Why are you locking yourself in your room?” Eskild asks, confused. Even huffed, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m just trying to avoid Isak…”

“Well I got that, but why? What’d you do?” Eskild asks and Even scoffs.

“Why do you assume I did something?” Even tries but Eskild gives him a glare. “Okay well… I thought I was helping by throwing Chris out after he was such an asshole but then… Isak starting yelling at me and… You know… I fuck everything up so…” Even shrugged lamely.

“Even, no you don’t,” Eskild tells him and his voice sounds so caring that Even finally looks up at his soft eyes. “You’re a great guy and you can’t keep blaming yourself for everything that happens. Besides, Isak is a teenager, I’m sure he didn’t mean whatever he said.”

“He didn’t really say anything it’s just… he’s probably so mad at me.” Even says and when Eskild only nods, he continues, “But Chris just sounded so manipulative and controlling, I couldn’t take it.”

“It’s okay, Even. If I was there I’d have probably kicked him out too. Isak does _not_ understand how bad Chris is for him.” He says. Even nods.

“I kind of… I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, I just don’t want him to hate me.” He looks down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He hears Eskild breathe in deeply.

“Even…” He lets the silence linger and Even can almost feel the question he’s about to ask. “Is this about more than the stupid argument?” He looked up at Eskild. There’s a long moment where they only stare. Finally, Even lets out a sigh.

“His mom is ill… How could he ever like me if I’m just going to add on to a pile of stress?” Even tried.

“Even, you’re so much more than your illness,” Eskild said, voice soft but firm.

“Eskild, he left home to get away from his mother.” He reiterated.

“That’s different and you know it. He was left to take care of her… He wouldn’t be taking care of you.”

“It doesn’t even matter.” He interrupted, putting his hands up. “He obviously won’t be interested in me anytime soon.” Even sighed. Eskild failed to hide his exasperated look.

“Well, we’re having a pre-game party here tomorrow night and he didn’t say anything about inviting Chris so… maybe you guys can talk?” Eskild suggested and Even just sighed.

“Why am I just now hearing about this party at _our_ apartment?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you’ve been hiding from society for the last twenty-four hours.” Eskild rolled his eyes and Even was reminded of how adorable the gesture is when his _other_ roommate is doing it. “Come on, Even. Just talk to him… Try and hang out.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Even is begrudgingly agreeing, “Okay, fine. I’ll go to the party with you guys.” He sighed before pushing Eskild out of the doorway.

“And make an effort! Maybe you can meet someone new?” Eskild wiggles his eyebrows and that’s about when Even lets the door swing shut a little too hard. Once Eskild was out of his sight, Even flops down on his bed and stares up at the ceiling.

 _Maybe I should just stop trying_ , he thinks because, at this point, he could apologize to Isak and maybe even be friends with him. They could go from taking turns at the sink to brushing their teeth side by side. They could memorize how the other takes their coffee or tea and it wouldn’t be a romantic thing. They could be friends. _But he’s gorgeous._

Even can’t deny that Isak is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen up close. _Ever seen at all_. He’s angelic and dangerous in the best way possible. He was soft and small and Even ached to just touch. His voice alone was ethereal, smooth sounding and slightly higher than Even’s own. The way he stuttered through sentences was proof that he would rather sit in comfortable silence. Even craved that comfortable silence between them, where they could just be in the other’s company like that day on the windowsill. Even wanted him. He wanted Isak more than just a friend because friends don’t get to touch and linger, friends aren’t allowed to place their lips between the other’s and press soft, sweet kisses. He imagines Isak’s lips would taste sweet.

That’s the thing though. How can they just be friends when Even is sat here in his room imagining how _sweet_ Isak’s lips must taste?

So they’ll stick to being roommates. Even will make him breakfast and maybe dinner occasionally and he’ll treat Isak the same way he would treat Eskild. He can do that. It’s fine. It’ll be easy.

_Now just stop picturing his sweet lips, you weirdo._

~~~

The next day he gets home from filming and he knows the party has started. He purposely arrived late so he wouldn’t be forced to drink something and instead can just blend into the crowd amongst the drunk teenagers. Well, not really teenagers. Most of them were Even’s age but a good half looked to be high schoolers. Carefully, Even pushed through the crowd to put his bag, camera and his tripod into his room.

On the way out his eyes immediately found Isak’s figure. He was sat on their couch, a beer can in his hand and a smile on his face. He nodded like he was listening to someone speak and that’s when Even noticed the boy sitting next to him, talking with his hands and his whole body. He had dark brown hair and a fairly good sense of fashion.

He was leaning in close to Isak and Even knew what this was. This was Isak’s rebound for Chris – unless Isak isn’t the sweet, innocent boy Even sought him out to be and this is actually Isak cheating on Chris. Either way, Isak was _flirting_ with a pretty boy whose hand just landed on his knee and Even feels like he needs a drink. Quickly he turns to the kitchen and pulls a beer out of the fridge.

“Go easy, okay?” Even turned to the doorway when he heard Eskild shout to him over the music. Even raised his eyebrows and took a big gulp.

“I know how to take care of myself Eskild.” He huffed.

“Alright, I know baby Issy is flirting away out there but you can’t just drink it away. Just… do your own flirting?” Eskild tried but Even rolled his eyes.

“I only want to flirt with him.” He snapped, and this time Eskild rolled his eyes.

“You barely know him.” He groaned, but turned around and left Even alone.

The rest of the party was more of the same. Isak continued to flirt with the dark-haired boy and Even continued to glare at them from a distance. He had just been approached by a pretty girl who swiftly started a conversation with him when the dark-haired boy was getting up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, excuse me.” Even said to the girl, her name already forgotten. He walked past and quickly planted himself next to Isak on the couch. Isak shot him an impressive death glare.

“What do you want?” He huffed, rolling his bright green eyes.

“I just want to say that I’m sorry.” He said, looking at Isak seriously. Isak stared at him, probably trying to determine just how serious Even was. “I mean it, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” Isak squinted at him before sighing loudly.

“Okay. Fine, I forgive you… or whatever.” Isak said, shrugging. He turned to look at Even before looking away again, watching his fingers fidget with his empty beer can. “But uh… I guess it’s good that you kicked him out because… I finally was able to break up with him… So…” Isak shrugged, giving Even a smile that looked sad.

“Well… that’s good, right?” Even tried a smile as well. Isak just shrugged and sunk into himself slightly.

“Yeah… I guess.” He nodded and then looked up to Even.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“It’s okay. We’re good.” Isak says, giving Even a genuine smile this time. Even returned the gesture.

“Good. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything while living here.” Even says, and Isak chuckles slightly, making the tension in the air dissipate.

“Yeah.” He nods. “I like it here.” Even watches his smile turn into something softer and almost private before the moment is interrupted.

“Hello? Who’s this?” Even followed Isak’s gaze to the dark haired boy standing in front of them. Even looks to Isak to find him wide-eyed, staring up at the guy.

“I’m Even, Isak’s –“

“Boyfriend,” Isak adds, casually and Even’s head snaps over to look at his roommate. Isak gives him a fleeting look before scooting closer.

“I thought you… Someone told me you were single.” The boy said, clearly annoyed. “That’s why I’ve been flirting with you for like, the past two weeks.”

“Oh, really? Sorry…” Isak shrugged, feigning a guilty look. The boy scoffed and walked off. “Whew.” Isak sighed, not leaving Even’s side. He quickly pushed out the thought that Isak felt deliciously warm against his body and instead turned to him with a bewildered expression.

“What was that?” Even asked and Isak bit his lip, sheepishly.

“Sorry, just… Julian has been hitting on me for a while and I couldn’t find a nice way to tell him I’m not interested.” Isak says, avoiding all eye contact. Even quirked an eyebrow at him.

“So do I have to pretend to be your boyfriend for the rest of the night?” He teased, nudging his shoulder against Isak. Isak rolls his eyes.

“This isn’t some fanfiction.” He tells him, looking at Even with a challenging look. Even just smiles.

“So we’re cool, right? You aren’t mad at me anymore?” He asks and Isak’s glare softens.

“Yeah.” Isak nods, with a small smile. Then, after a moment he smirked, “And also, you may have to pretend to be my boyfriend just for a little while because Julian is the type to stare all night long.” Even chuckles and gets into a more comfortable position. He slings an arm around the back of the couch and turns his body towards Isak.

“Alright, I can do that.” Even agrees, “Although, I’ve never really had a boyfriend before.” Surprisingly, Isak rolls his eyes.

“Oh c’mon, you’re fucking with me.” He groans and Even just smiles, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re telling me,” Isak points a finger into his chest, “that every guy ever isn’t all over you?” He shakes his head. “Bullshit.”

“What?” Even laughs. “Are you calling me hot?” He mimics Isak’s gesture and points a finger at himself as well. Isak looks a bit surprised at himself and tries to scoff.

“No I mean-“

“You think I’m hot?” Even teases, watching a soft blush brighten up Isak’s cheeks. He tries looking around the room to avoid Even’s stare, and Even thinks it’s so adorable. He’s so enamored by this boy, he doesn’t even register the crowd of people all around them.

“Shut up, you know what I meant. I’m drunk, okay.” Isak brushed it off. Even decided to stop the teasing.

“I don’t know, guys I like have never liked me back… Mostly because they’re straight.” Even tells him, and he doesn’t know why he’s opening up to Isak like this already but it just came out. Maybe it’s the added fact that Isak’s drunk and might not judge him for this. Isak looked up though with a gaze so deadly serious that Even felt his eyebrows raise.

“I know what you mean,” Isak says, and then a laugh erupts from his throat. “I thought I was in love with my best friend.” This makes Even smile widely.

“Me too.” He says and Isak smiles, shaking his head.

“Best friends are easy to fall in love with, I guess.” He says, making Even’s mind whirl. After a moment of white noise between the two of them, Isak turned to look at him better and leaned in a little bit. Even’s head felt too heavy for his shoulders with the pressure of not pulling the younger boy into a kiss right there. “So you’ve really never been with a guy?” Isak asked. Even tore his eyes away from his lips to look him in the eye.

“No, I haven’t. I’ve had one serious girlfriend and… that’s kind of it.” He tells him, honestly and Isak cocks his head.

“No one night stands with anyone?” He asked with a teasing smirk making Even chuckle lowly.

“I’m definitely not a ‘one-night-stand’ kind of guy… I’m much too romantic.” Even says and Isak gives him a small smile.

“Well, that’s-“

“Isak! Brooo!” Even turns to see two guys holding up a drunk, floppy-haired blonde boy who was making grabby hands at Isak. Isak groaned and rolled his eyes at the three of them.

“What, Magnus?” He asked, unimpressed by the boy’s drunken state.

“Come on, stop trying to get dick and hang out with us!” Magnus unnecessarily shouted. Isak’s mouth gaped and quickly glanced at Even, but Even just tried not to laugh. He raised his eyebrows and Isak huffed.

“I hate you guys.” He grumbled, before standing up and waving awkwardly at Even. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I mean, I live here too.” He teased, successfully making Isak roll his eyes before turning to his friends and walking off with them. Even watched the four boys interact for a moment before getting up and disappearing into his bedroom.

For the rest of the night, he felt jitters electrocuting his blood and making his brain stand on edge. All he wanted to do was continue talking to Isak, making him laugh and making him roll his eyes. He wanted to hear more about how easy it is to fall in love with a best friend and he wanted to know if that was him hinting at something more with Even. He couldn’t get Isak out of his head and he didn’t really want to either. Thoughts of Isak made him feel light and euphoric. Thinking about his bright voice and his soft hair. The way he talked and how his hands moved. The way he so easily called Even his boyfriend and how good the word sounded coming from his lips.

Even was gone for him. _Shit_. Well, there goes trying not to think about his lips.

~~~

A little after 22, Even heard the music stop. He listened as people left the pre-game to head to the actual party. He peeked his head out of his door to see Isak clumsily leaning on to his curly-haired friend.

“How the fuck are you such a lightweight?” The boy groaned and Isak just sank more of his weight on him.

“Did Eskild already leave?” Even asks, emerging from behind his door. Isak perks up at the sight of him.

“Eveeeeen,” He cheers, stumbling over and throwing his arms around him. Even carefully propped up Isak, holding onto him awkwardly but trying not to hold him at the same time. “How are you?” He slurred.

“I’m good… How are you?” Even asks a little awkwardly.

“I need to call Chris.” He said, words all jumbling together. Even looked up at the curly haired boy.

“Bro, Even, right?” He nodded. “You gotta keep an eye on him, I can’t stay here all night.” Curly haired boy says, and before Even can argue, he’s leaving. Isak mumbles against his shirt incoherently so Even wraps his arms around him and leads him to the kitchen. They stumble together until Even’s able to sit him in a chair at the kitchen table. He pours a glass of water for him and pulls a pack of Oreos out of the pantry for him. He needs to get Isak to sober up before he can even think about leaving him alone. Isak sips at the water for a minute.

“I need to call Chris. I hafta apolologizeee...” He slurs, some of the water from his last sip dripping down his chin. Even shakes his head.

“Don’t call Chris, that’s a very bad idea.” He tells him and Isak just pouts.

“It’s not like you know anything.” He says, sipping more water. Even frowns at him but doesn’t bother saying anything. Once Isak has had two glasses of water, Even leads him to his room and Isak flops down on the bed. He carefully rolls Isak onto his side. Isak groans sleepily.

“Don’t call Chris, okay?” Even tries and Isak just grunts. He sighs and figures that Eskild will deal with him later. He goes back to his room and dozes off immediately.

A little while later Even wakes up groggily, and for a moment he doesn’t know what woke him up until he hears Isak speaking in his room. Even listens closely, sitting up a little bit.

Isak’s pleading, “I’m sorry… okay. I’m sorry, please understand… I just want to talk to you… Please… Chris, please…” Even scowled. “Come over… please.” He threw the blanket off of his body and stormed out of his room, flinging Isak’s door open to see him sprawled out on his bed. On any other given day, Even would stop to appreciate Isak’s shirt hiked up, showing off of his flat, slightly muscular stomach. His knees would probably be a little weak seeing Isak in his boxers, showing off his long legs, spread out like he’s a fucking spider. He looks so hot, with his hand in his unruly hair, and his phone next to his ear. _Oh right, his phone._

Isak was staring at him in shock and confusion as Even grabbed his phone and hung up the phone call with “Chris<3”. _Disgusting_. He glared at Isak, but Isak just glared back just as fiercely.

“Isak you should not be talking to him. Go to sleep.” He snapped. Isak scoffed.

“You’re not in charge of me.” He shot back, reaching to take his phone back, but Even shoved it in the front of his pants, making Isak give him a disgusted look.

“No. I’m not giving it back to you until tomorrow. Chris is not good for you, you shouldn’t be talking to him, especially when you’re drunk.” He told him, but Isak just rolled his eyes. He flopped back on the bed.

“Whatever,” He groaned, reminding Isak how young this kid is. Even watched him for a moment. This kid is still so innocent and yet has been through so much. Even feels himself get a little sad because he knows how it feels to grow up to fast. He already feels so angry that Isak is being manipulated by this guy Chris when he’s going through so much. “What are you still doing here?” Isak groans. Even sighs.

“Never mind.” He leaves, going back to his own room. Isak will just fall back asleep, he’ll be fine. He sets Isak’s phone on the table, turning it off when it starts blowing up with calls from Chris. Even crawls back into bed and manages to fall asleep again.

At three am, there’s a door slam, and shuffling throughout the apartment. Even rubs at his face, annoyed at being woken up again. He tries to get comfortable again but he can hear voices in Isak’s room. He feels furious, a scowl growing on his face. He doesn’t have to strain to hear their conversation.

“Please don’t be mad at me…” Isak was pleading.

“Just move in with me. You shouldn’t be living with these assholes.” Chris growled and Even could tell Isak was still wasted the way his words slurred a little.

“They aren’t assholes. They help me.” Isak told him. “I can talk to them about stuff… like us.”

“You talk about us?” Chris asked, sounded annoyed.

“I have to talk to someone.” He sighs.

“You’re not allowed.” Chris snaps, making Even’s stomach flip. He sits up a bit, on his elbows.

“Chris, you’re not in charge of me.” Isak snaps but Even can hear the sound of Isak being shoved. He sits up more, as if getting ready to storm in there.

“Shut up, I just came here to tell you we aren’t breaking up, not to fight.” Chris practically growls. Even gets up to burst in there and throw Chris out again. He stops at his door.

“Chris – stop… I just want to talk.” Isak says and Even can hear shuffling and struggling.

“This conversation is over.” Chris snaps and Even feels his body tense up. He opens his door and stands out in the hallway, hesitantly. He hears more struggling.

“I didn’t call you over just to fuck me, Chris. We need to talk – ow! Stop, Chris!”

“You’re so sensitive, stop acting like a fucking girl.” Chris snarled and Even felt sick hearing them both giggle, then loud making-out sounds filled the silence. Even huffed, feeling tense and angry but now he definitely didn’t want to barge in and see something more explicit than just hearing the tell-tale sex sounds. He stood in the hallway, feeling incredibly furious but also insanely lonely.

He huffed, and quickly went back into his bedroom, plugging his earphones into his ears to drown out the loud noises from the room next door.

~~~

In the morning, Even walks into the kitchen to see Chris filling a glass of water at the sink. He’s stood there in only his boxers and Even wanted to punch his stupid, attractive face in.

“Eskild, right?” Chris greets and Even just stands there, glaring at him.

“No, I’m Even.” He says, not making a move to further enter the kitchen.

“You gonna throw me out again?” Chris quirked an eyebrow, a smug look on his face. Even scowls.

“We’ll see, it’s only nine, after all.” Even shrugs, making Chris chuckle humorlessly. They glared at each other for a moment before Chris took a breath.

“Sorry about Isak by the way, I know he’s a whiny bitch most of the time but he’ll be moving in with me soon.” He says with a smirk on his lips, like it’s funny but Even doesn’t find his snide remarks funny. He feels kind of sick hearing the words come out of his mouth, the mouth of someone who’s supposed to love Isak, not complain about him like that. Though, it’s pretty obvious to Even that Chris has never loved Isak.

“He’s not. He’s a nice guy, and I think he should stay here.” Even argues, and Chris just rolls his eyes. It’s not the adorable kind of rolling of the eyes that Isak does, it’s the kind that makes Even huff and tense up his fists behind his back.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Aren’t you his ex-boyfriend?” Even watches as Chris scoffs cockily.

“Did Isak tell you that?” He rolls his eyes again. Even squints at him. “You know he’s a liar? He can’t trust anyone with the amount of daddy issues he’s stacked up so he lies constantly.” Chris tells him and Even can’t help but glare at him. “He tells people bullshit all the time. Don’t listen to a word he says.”

“Alright.” Even replies, just to say something because it’s too early to break someone’s nose on a Saturday. “Where is he anyway?” Even asks, because it’s early but usually Isak would at least have snuck out for breakfast before going back to bed.

“Asleep. I really tired him out last night, if you know what I mean.” Chris winks with a disgusting smirk and Even can only grimace. He gives a nod before opening up the refrigerator.

“Well, when he wakes up, tell him I made breakfast.” Even tells him as Chris walks past him.

“Whatever.” He says, and Even so desperately wanted to throw him out, right then and there, in his underwear. Instead, he huffed and made extra pancakes. As he made breakfast, not only did he feel angry at Chris, but at Isak as well. Even could put aside his own feelings and jealousy and still felt like Isak deserved so much better. This abusive relationship cannot continue but Even can’t figure out a way to end it all without it ending badly for him as well. Even isn’t a petty person, but currently, he felt like whatever happened to Isak at this point was his own fault. As harsh as that sounds, Even felt like giving up on helping Isak. He left the pancakes on the counter to get cold.

~~~

Throughout the next week, Even tries his best to stay away from the apartment. He goes to class too early and stays out later with the boys, and he completely avoids seeing Isak. He’s been doing a good job, being busy with this film anyway and Isak has his own school work. Although, he has had to hear Isak and Chris together in his room on multiple occasions and it may be driving him a little mad. Sometimes they sound so in love, and sometimes they’re arguing loudly, and sometimes they’re having sex for hours and Even just can’t handle it. He’s dying in his bedroom, and he’s still so infatuated with Isak. He’s even been dreaming about kissing him and it all feels so vivid that some days he forgets that it was all a dream. It’s like his unconscious brain is telling him to go after Isak and get rid of Chris but, it all seems so impossible. Especially since it seems like Isak hasn’t even realized that Even’s giving him the silent treatment.

During the second week of Even playing the avoiding game, Chris and Isak have a huge fight. Even is woken up at 23 by the sounds of screaming and someone’s throwing things. Even doesn’t even have to try to hear what Isak’s yelling about. Chris has been cheating on him with one of Isak’s friends and Even can tell Chris can’t even argue when Isak is screaming and getting choked up with angry tears. Chris is trying to explain that he won’t do it again but Isak is yelling at him to get out and get away from him. It takes a few minutes but soon Even hears the front door slam shut and Isak bursts into tears, sobbing and running back to his bedroom, slamming his door as well.

Even feels his heart clench, even if it’s technically something he wished to happen. He knew Isak would end up hurting himself but it still didn’t feel good to hear him sobbing into his pillow until he passed out from exhaustion. Even couldn’t sleep that night, too worried about Isak. In the end, he got up at eight am, made some pancakes and wrapped them in foil to keep them warm before leaving for school.

He hated what Isak was doing to himself, but he wasn’t evil. He still cared about this boy a lot, and no one deserved to be cheated on.

When he gets home that night, Eskild and Isak are curled up on the couch in the living room watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother. They’re both under a big fluffy blanket and Isak is cuddled up to his side with Eskild’s arm holding him close. Even feels unwavering jealously at the sight, because suddenly he feels extremely aware of how touch starved he is. He desperately wants to be the one holding Isak.

They both look up at him, Eskild with a happy smile and Isak looking small and insecure, looking up at him from behind his long eyelashes, making him look so young and innocent. Even forces a smile at both of them but Isak quickly averts his gaze.

“Hey Even, home early tonight, for on,e.” Eskild says cheerily, but in a noticeably quieter tone. “Wanna join us? We have popcorn.” He sing-songs but Even can’t handle being around Isak right now. He shakes his head and mumbles some lame excuse about having homework and disappears into his room.

He sighs heavily, wishing he was in some other universe where he met Isak in a coffee shop or in a high school bathroom and they were both single, and healthy and they lived happily ever after.

But for now, Even was stuck in this universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it on another bad note/cliffhanger but next chapter is gonna be interesting, I promise! Leave a comment to remind me to keep updating this since my priority is on I May Be Younger but I'm gonna really try to write this as well. Thanks so much for reading! Also comment which suggestions for things to happen in this fic, sometimes I like to integrate little things people want to show how much I appreciate you all reading my shit lol


	6. I made you coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes were red and puffy, but he didn’t remember crying. His head hurt like he was hungover, but he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol last night. He felt hungover on heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even is a little uncharacteristically mean in this chapter but I figured that with everything going on he's bitter which causes him to not act like himself and he's pining after Isak who's being stupid so he's a little mean. Don't worry, that will change soon.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter!

During the next week, Even didn’t try as hard to avoid Isak and yet somehow he never ran into him. He woke up at his usual time, got home a little earlier and by the end of the week Even realized the last time he saw Isak was last Friday when Isak was curled up with Eskild. Even assumed Isak must have been really busy with school work or something. On Friday, Even comes home after a film shoot with the boys to see Eskild and Isak cleaning the house and rearranging furniture. Even sighs.

“What are you guys doing?” He asked, exasperatedly, taking his shoes off.

“Party time!” Eskild cheered and Isak gave him a soft, almost apologetic smile. Even huffs.

“Can you start telling me about parties beforehand so I can make plans to not be here?” He complained. Eskild just smiled wider.

“Okay Evy baby, but you should have fun tonight. It won’t hurt ya!” Eskild cheered again, making Even wince.

“Sure, maybe.” He agreed halfheartedly, mostly to get Eskild off his back. He disappeared into his room and tried to make plans to study or work on something else. Of course it was Friday though so all the boys have their own dates or parties that Even already turned down. He sighed and decided to do as much work as he could before the party.

At 22 there was music blasting from the living room and Eskild’s friends were piling in to get drunk and have fun, something Even was currently annoyed with. He wasn't even allowed to get _that_ drunk and he definitely couldn’t let loose completely with all these strangers. Well they weren’t really strangers, just mutual friends who Even had nothing in common with. Oh, and a few high schoolers that Isak invited, probably. Even sighed, wondering if this is really what every weekend was going to be like from now on.

He couldn’t deny how down he’s been lately. Not depressed, nothing near that, but down in a way that made him frown at couples on the street and despise all these parties and even start to get a little annoyed at the rom-coms he used to love. He hated feeling like this but it felt never-ending, like his romantic personality has repelled everyone he’s ever fell in love with. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what actually love feels like; maybe he’s never even fallen in love before.

The music was too loud though, it was practically vibrating the walls and he knew it most likely wasn’t just disturbing him but their neighbors as well. Unless they were also out having fun on their Friday night. Even sighed to himself before getting up and heading into the living room. People were crowded wall to wall, and Even felt annoyed just thinking about having to find Eskild in this group of loud, sweaty college kids. He spotted that curly haired kid that was helping Isak last week and made his way over to him.

“Hey, have you seen Eskild?” Even asked once he looked over at him. The curly boy thought for a moment.

“I think he went into the kitchen?” He said but seemed too drunk to form a memory of that actually happening. Even lamented and pushed through the crowd to the kitchen.

He turned the corner just to see two people making out passionately against the counter. Before Even could just get out of there, he recognized the two boys. Isak was sat on the counter with Chris standing between his thighs, running their hands all over each other’s bodies. Even frowned deeply, so badly wanting to throw them apart and yell at them. He wanted to scream at Isak. _What the hell does he think he’s doing?_

Instead Even clenched his fists and stormed through the crowd, slamming his door behind him. He felt furious, seeing them together again, especially after the hurt Isak’s been through. He was starting to resent Isak and how young and dumb he was being. Or maybe this is how he is. He’s a young, dumb, naïve teenager that wouldn’t be good for Even to be in love with. It would be torture, _if_ Even was in love with him. Seeing Chris kiss the boy he was in love with, _if_ he was in love with him, would be tearing him apart, but he’s not in love. It wouldn’t be good if Even was in love with him, which is why it’s good that he wasn’t. Instead of being in love and thinking about _that_ , Even curled into his bed and put in earphones, blasting Frank Ocean in his ears until he fell asleep.

He slept and, thankfully, dreamed of nothing.

~~~

In the morning he stayed in bed for as long as possible. His eyes were red and puffy, but he didn’t remember crying. His head hurt like he was hungover, but he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol last night. He felt hungover on heartbreak.

He could insist that he wasn’t in love, that he didn’t know what love felt like, but he wasn’t stupid. Or maybe he _was_ stupid for thinking he was in love with a young, naïve kid that he didn’t even know well enough. He decided he was stupid.

Sluggishly, he stood and made his way to the kitchen. It was a Saturday after a night of partying and he figured no one would be awake before fourteen. He texted Elias to say he was coming over in a couple hours but once he got to the kitchen he deleted the text. Standing in the kitchen, pressed against each other with coffee mugs in their hands and bare skin keeping each other warm instead of shirts stood Isak and Chris. They smiled and talked softly as Chris brought his hand up and brushed back a lock of Isak’s hair, making the teenager blush. Even stood there, in shock, though his face quickly morphed into a scowl. He felt furious.

“Oh, Even,” Isak greeted, looking over at him with a soft smile. He didn’t notice Even not returning the sentiment. Even squinted his eyes as Chris wrapped an arm around Isak’s waist. They both looked so beautiful together, and it only served to fuel Even’s anger. Isak pulled away slightly and grabbed a coffee mug from the counter, filled it with coffee and took a step forward. “I made you coffee.” He smiled and Even felt his heart clench up.

He took the mug and held it over the kitchen sink, watching Isak’s face as he poured it down the drain and dropped the mug in with a large clatter that echoed throughout the silence. Isak’s smile dropped into a horrified expression, like he was scared of what Even would do next. He continued to scowl before turning on his heel and stomping back to his bedroom.

~~~

A half an hour later he emerged from his room to see Chris and Isak on the couch, cuddling. _Ew._

"Even, I – “Isak started, getting up from the couch but Even stormed out of the apartment before he could hear any excuses or explanations. Even did not sign up for this kid to come in and invade his life and every thought. This was not part of the deal.

He biked his way to Mikael and Yousef’s shared flat, hoping to get distracted. When he showed up, they immediately had questions, making Even want to tear his ears off.

“Wasn’t there a party last night? Did you have fun?” Mikael asked him. Even tried not to think too much into the fact that he had the opposite of fun, in fact, he was miserable.

“It was fine. I was trying to write a script the whole time.” Even huffed, taking a big gulp of the coffee they handed him. Yousef frowned at him.

“Why do you look hungover then?” He asked.

“Yeah, you look fucked up.” Mikael added, and Even just glared at him.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, sarcastically, already feeling not much like himself. “I kind of had a rough night.”

“What’s wrong?” Mikael rubbed a hand on Even’s shoulder comfortingly. Even sighed, deciding there was no way he was going to avoid thinking about all of this.

“Stuff with Isak. Everything is just, a lot right now.” Even sighs again. Yousef and Mikael’s eyebrows crinkled together, confused.

“I thought you said things were good since he broke up with his boyfriend?” Yousef questioned. Even felt his body tense up.

“They were making out in the kitchen so… I guess they’re back together. And they were together this morning.” He sighs like it was painful to let the words come out, and in a way it was. Yousef and Mikael give him sympathetic looks which make Even want to run out of their apartment. He squirmed under the glances, "I'm fine." He tried.

"Isn't that guy an asshole? The ex?" Yousef questioned, and Even could only nod. "Well, then it's pretty shitty for Isak too."

"What?" Mikael asked. Yousef shoves him. 

"That guy isn't treating Isak right and he's stuck in that relationship," Yousef says, "It sucks, but... Why are you moping around?" He says and Even looks up, because isn't it so obvious. 

"Because he's back with his asshole boyfriend and - and I like him. I want him." He blurts out, blushing a little, even though the boys already knew he liked Isak but Even has tried so hard to deny it lately that admitting it now feels embarrassing. 

"So maybe this is your time to help him, be extra nice and maybe he'll come to you after realizing how horrible his ex is," Yousef says, and Mikael nods enthusiastically, making his hair flop around. Even agrees that that's a good idea but-

"I'm kind of avoiding him and... I was already kind of a dick." 

"Even!"

"What?" Mikael shouts at him while Yousef puts his head in his hands dramatically. They both start groaning and pacing the kitchen. "What are we gonna do with you?"

"Broooo, what were you thinking?" Yousef practically shouts. Even shrugs helplessly. 

"I'm pissed at him, I'm sorry!" Even tries but the other boys shake their heads. "What do I do?"

"I don't know!" Mikael shouts.

"You're the one who usually solves our girl problems," Yousef says running his fingers through his hair. 

"Bro, Isak's a dude," Mikael says, dumbly. Even glares at him, because that's not helping. Yousef sighs.

"Bro I know, I was just saying-"

"You know what?" Even shook his head and stood up from the kitchen table, "Forget Isak. If he wants to date some asshole then, then so be it." Yousef and Mikael freeze, staring at him and Even knows what they're thinking. Even couldn't stop talking about Isak for two weeks after he showed up and now he's saying forget him. Yousef shook his head.

"Bro, you just said-"

“Nevermind, I didn’t come over here to talk about him.” He interrupted him, “I just want to forget about everything for a little while and just… watch a movie or make a movie, I don’t know.”

“Alright.” Mikael sighed and they changed the subject. Even spent almost the whole day hiding out in their apartment, watching movies, eating junk food and definitely not thinking about Isak.

~~~

“Even!" He groaned and got up from his bed, unlocking the door so Eskild could barge in. "Where have you been all day? And now you're just hiding out in your room?" Eskild bitches to him. Even scoffs.

"Eskild, I'm 21." He says in place of an answer.

"Yeah, and you're being an absolute dickhead!" Eskild says to him, in a firm, serious voice that makes Even sit up straighter. He stared at him as Eskild huffed and continued, "Isak is dealing with a lot right now and he doesn't need you being an asshole. What's wrong with you? You're a sweet guy, Even." 

He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I just... I can't understand why Isak's dating that asshole again." Eskild rolled his eyes.

"He's a kid, he makes mistakes. He's in an abusive, manipulative relationship and  _you_  are not helping." He says. Even shakes his head.

“What do you want me to do, Eskild?” He snapped, “I can’t just – “

“Apologize.” Eskild interrupted in a quiet but firm voice that shuts Even up. “Apologize for being a dick and then try – just try – to be his friend. He’s been miserable for so long and he _ran away_ from his own family to get away from being uncomfortable in his home and I am not going to let _you_ continue this behavior. And I don’t know what happened with you two, but be a fucking adult and tell him you’re sorry.”

Even glared at him in silence before his anger got the best of him. “You’re not the boss of me.” Eskild threw his arms up in anger like a pissed off dad – which wasn’t very far off.

“Fine.” He mumbled, slamming the door on his way out. Even huffed, not even able to go back to editing when he was so ticked off. For the next hour, he sulked in his room as he blasted the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge. He paced around his room as he argued with Eskild in his head and once he had decided on what he was going to say, he couldn’t hold back. He stormed out of his bedroom and into the living room where Isak and Eskild where already shouting at each other.

“No, you can’t kick me out!” Isak shouted at Eskild. Even stood frozen in front of them. Eskild turned to see him and grabbed him by the arm.

“You too, get out.” Eskild started pushing them both. “I have a hookup in my room.”

“Wha – “ Even started but Eskild was already shoving them out of the doorway.

“Leave. Find a party or something, it’s Saturday night!” Eskild pushed them into the hallway.

“I don’t even have – “ Eskild slammed the door in their faces, locking it. “ – shoes!” Even finished, huffing angrily at his bare feet.

“Eskild!” Isak hollered, banging on the door and kicking it with his feet. _At least he has socks on._ Even pulled out his phone, texting Mikael and begging him to come pick him up. He couldn’t get on the tram barefoot; that was a new level of insane. As he was texting he saw Isak huff and slide down the side of the door out of the corner of his eye. Even dared to glance up and saw Isak already looking at him.

“Hey, I know you hate me but,” Isak mumbled, avoiding Even’s eyes and looking at his socked feet, “could you maybe ask your friend to bring me shoes? Just so I can walk to the tram station. Please?” He looked up at Even through his eyelashes, making Even melt a little and add that to his text message to Mikael. Instead of ignoring Isak like he wanted to, he spoke up.

“I don’t hate you.” He mumbled, but he wasn’t even convincing himself at that point. Isak let out a humorless laugh.

“Oh, really?” Isak asked and Even just shrugged, not knowing how to explain himself. “So all this silent treatment shit and the glares and the whole pouring my coffee down the drain… that’s because… What? _You like me?_ You expect me to think that you don’t hate my guts?” Even sighs.

“I don’t hate you. I hate… Chris and the fact that you’re still dating him. He admits and it’s the most honest he’s been in a while. Isak looks surprised and his eyes widen.

“What? Why – “

“Because he’s a manipulative asshole, Isak.” Even huffs, “You deserve better.” Isak shakes his head.

“You don’t know that.”

“No one deserves abuse.” He says flatly, because it shouldn’t be a shock to Isak that he doesn’t deserve this treatment and it stings so badly because Isak looks like he’s about to say –

“Well, maybe I do.” He blurts out and Even sucks in a breath.

“I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole to you. I just don’t understand why you keep going back to him?” He says and the question makes Isak ducks his head and picks at his fingernails. It’s silent for a while and Even realizes it’s because Isak’s trying to answer his question.

“I’m scared.” He murmurs. Even surprised that he finally answered with a truthful statement. He raises his eyebrows and Isak continues. “He gets so mad when I try to end things and… I’m scared that I’ll be stuck with him forever.” He looks like a sad toddler, and Even is struck again by how young he really is. His heart hurts.

“Eskild and I want to help you get out of that. “ He said confidently. Isak shrugged, almost helplessly.

“What can you guys do? There’s nothing you can do.” He tells him, like he’s given up. Even stares at him, determinedly.

“We’ll help you.” Even repeats and before Isak can fight him, his phone rings. “Hey, are you here?”

“Yeah, I brought shoes. Are we bringing Isak?” Mikael asks him. Even thinks for a second.

“Maybe. I’ll be there in a minute.” Even hangs up the phone. “Wanna get drunk and forget about your problems?” He asks and Isak looks up at him.

“I’m only 17, I can’t go to a bar,” Isak tells him but Even smiles and reaches a hand out to help him get up from the ground.

“College students have parties too.”

~~~

Even watches as Isak stays on the outside of his friend group but once they’re pleasantly buzzed and heading to the party Even watched as Isak loosened up and meshed into his group of friends, currently talking to Mutta about a show he likes. It’s good, Even thinks, Isak should be comfortable and forgetting about his asshole boyfriend.

Even can’t help it when his eyes linger as Isak walks in front of him. In his tipsy state of mind, he finds Isak's swaying hips so enticing and his curls so inviting. His skinny jeans cling to his long legs and beautiful ass. He tries to ignore what these thoughts mean but instead, he lets his clouded judgment take over and his eyes linger along with his dirty mind.

When they get to the party they are a few hours late and the party is at its climax. There are girls dancing on the dining room table and couples hooking up in every corner and bottles littering the floor. The boys all split off to find drinks and people to kiss while Even stands in the middle of the entrance hall, feeling a little drunk and lost. He doesn’t want to kiss some random person. He wants to kiss –

“Hey, do you want another beer?” He looks down to see Isak holding two cans of beer, offering one to him. Even takes it and eyes him warily.

“Aren’t you gonna go… hook up with some college boy to forget about Chris?” He asks, not meaning to sound so bitter but it comes out like that anyway. _Whatever._

“No. I don’t feel like it.” Isak says, shrugging. “Are _you_ gonna hook up with someone?” Even shakes his head. “Well, then I guess we’re hanging out.”

Half an hour later Isak and Even are drunk and arguing about Transformers because Isak’s got a disgusting taste in films. _But he’s so cute, ugh!_

“No, they’re cool!”

“His explosions are excessive, not cool.”

“It’s stylistic,” Isak says, with a drunk giggle. Even shakes his head with a drunken smile on his face.

“You don’t even know what that means.”

“Whatever,” Isak groans, rolling his eyes. Before Even could argue more with him, Mikael stumbled in with Elias and Mutta. They both were carrying Elias, who was probably close to passing out from how drunk he was. Even raised his eyebrows at them.

“Bro, can you find a room for him to lie down in? We gotta clean up his barf in the living room before Alex yells at us.” Mikael asked, frantically. Even huffed but took Elias into his arms. Mikael and Mutta disappeared back out of the kitchen before Even could even try to fight them so he looked to Isak and they both hauled Elias out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find a bedroom. Even had been to this house a handful of times so he knew where to find their friend Alex’s bedroom.

“That one.” He said to him, and Isak nodded before swinging the door open. They both jumped when they saw the room was currently being _occupied_ by two shirtless guys who were passionately making out.

“Sorry, we – “ Isak cut himself off with a choked sounding gasp. “Chris!?” He shouted, and Even snapped his head over to see one guy sitting up slightly and – sure enough – Chris was lying underneath him, barely looking apologetic. “What the _fuck!?_ ” Isak shouted again and Even just gaped at the scene, looking between the two.

“Isak, I can explain,” Chris explained, fumbling over his words, but not making any move to get out from underneath the other man.

“No, I’m done hearing you explain. This is the last time I’ll let you cheat on me. Okay? We’re fucking done. We’re done, for good. Don’t come back to me. Fuck off.” Isak said firmly, throwing Elias’ arm off of him and storming out of the room. Even looked back to see Isak running down the stairs.

“Isak!” Even shouted after him, trying to get a grip on Elias so he could chase after him. He looked back to Chris. “Listen to him. Fuck off, Chris. He doesn’t want you.” Chris clenches his jaw, but he nods and Even leaves. He finds an empty room, throws Elias down on the bed and runs down the stairs and out the door. He doesn’t need to run very far though because Isak’s there.

He’s sat on the curb in front of the house, hunched over with his head in his hands. Even watched him for a second, listening to his labored breathing and quiet crying sounds.

“Isak.” Even said into the night air, to call attention to his presence. Isak flinched and curled up on himself a little more. “I’m sorry.” He tells him, sincerely apologetic. He steps closer, standing right behind him.

“I’m a fucking idiot, aren’t I?” Isak sobs, as Even sat down next to him. He slung an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Isak went willingly, cuddling into Even’s side and shoving his head into his neck, hot tears coming down onto Even’s skin.

“No, you’re amazing Isak. This was just a shitty relationship, and Chris is a shitty person.” Even rubbed a hand up and down Isak’s back. “This isn’t the end of the world though. You’ll date tons more boys and you’ll find someone nice and everything will be good. Heartbreak _sucks_ but it doesn’t last forever.” He says. Isak sniffles and wraps his arms around Even’s waist.

“You’re so nice to me. I don’t deserve it.” Isak whimpers and Even squeezes his shoulders.

“Yes you do. You’ve never done anything to me, why shouldn’t I be nice?” He says, “Come on, let's head home.”

“Okay.”

They walk home in silence, Isak periodically wiping his tears away and sniffling. Even’s hand continues to brush against Isak’s and he wants so badly to grab onto it and intertwine their fingers, to at least bring comfort to the younger boy. He knows how much it hurts to have your heart broken, no matter how terrible Chris was, it still hurts. Isak’s been through so much hurt, Even just wants to make him feel loved but he’s sure Isak wouldn’t want that from him. Instead of holding his hand, he puts his arm around his shoulder again as they walk and presses a chaste kiss to Isak’s hair, something Eskild would probably do at the moment.

~~~

As soon as they’re home, Isak looks like he wants to collapse. They enter the kitchen, each filling a glass of water and Even puts water in the tea kettle.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” Isak whispers, finishing off his glass. Even gestures to the tea kettle.

“Do you want some?” Even asks, keeping his voice low so as to not ruin the moment. 

“I just wanna sleep.” He sounds so defeated and small that Even lets him go, watching as he turns around with his head down and leaves. Even sighs, his heart hurting for the young boy. For Isak, things can only go up from here. _Hopefully._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'll be updating my other fics soon as well! i just have tooonns of stuff going on with university but i'll have a break soon so updates will be super frequent with all my fics and i'll have even more stories coming soon!
> 
> please leave a comment and tell me what you think of this chapter my little darlings :) thank you sooo much! it means so much to me that people read my writing and every comment means the world to me!


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